Chemical peels used to scare me. Like Acid, and Flan

Back in the 1980’s I attended multiple (like in the double digits multiple) Grateful Dead shows.

I did this sober, because Acid scared me.

Was I a hippie?

Absolutely I was not. I went because I like to do “all the things.”

Not being a hippie, being afraid of hallucinogenic drugs, and having no interest in Grateful Dead Music, Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches, Bongos, and Guitar Jams, these shows were tortuous times for me.

Offshoot, side note, AKA reasons why

Grateful Dead Music is boring. It’s a hard pass for me on Uncle John and his dumb band.

Peanut butter and Banana sandwiches. Separately I do not have anything against peanut butter or bananas. They are like Crocs or Dollar Store Reading Glasses, they do the job, but no one really enjoys them.

But, sketchy sandwiches prepared by some glassy eyed, patchouli smelling 20 year-old-girl named Summer sporting dirty Birks and a tye-dyed tank with tufts of ratty armpit hair peeking out, well – that’s a nope from me. 

Bongos. Even a naked Matthew McConaughey can’t make these cool… or necessary. 

Guitar Jamming. Do people like it when this happens at concerts? When bands go on seemingly never ending guitar tangents?

Guitar jams combined with close-eyed, lazy-smiling, Dreadlocked Trustafarians twirling with outstretched arms trying to catch hallucinatory Buttermonkeys was both fascinating and irritating to me…

…but without the fascinating part. 

chemical peels camas medspa

(Buttermonkeys are butterflies with monkey heads – this is what I believed tripping hippies at Grateful Dead shows were seeing. Why? No idea, but this is what I thought)

Let’s get to the Acid

Even if it meant the Buttermonkeys became Flying Rainbow Kittens I just couldn’t take a tab.

Because it is CALLED ACID and the word acid sounds super scary, which is very bad branding on the drug dealers part, don’t ya think?

And this, in my opinion, is the problem with Chemical Peels. They sound scary.

Acid, Chemical Peels, as well as Cheesecake, are just poorly named and their monikers do a disservice to their exceptionalism.

  • Acid has been proven to help with PTSD and other mental health issues. 
  • Cheesecake is delicious and is not a cake made of different kinds of cheeses as I had previously thought – until I was 32.
  • Chemical Peels will not make you look like a survivor of 3 Mile Island but can do amazing things to your skin – like clear up acne, remove sun and age spots, help with rosacea, and basically take years off your appearance. 

Chemical Peels are awesome and I have embraced them and you should too. There are a million different kinds blah blah blah you can read more here about what they will do but ultimately you need to trust me.

You will love them, because how do you know if you don’t try. 

Come on, don’t be afraid – everybody is doing it. 

Now, Let’s Discuss Flan

Flan, unlike Chemical Peels, is appropriately named for what it is.

If Flan looked like a donut and was still called Flan, then it would be in the same category as The Cheesecake.

But it does not.

It looks like a trick, like some kind of ruse or con.

Flan is jiggly and firm at the same time. It is two-toned, but not in an obvious way like a delicious black and white cookie.

Flan is sneaky and maybe even slimy – I’m not sure, but I think it may be.

I don’t trust Flan, and neither should you.

Macks Chemical Romance
Shannon Hayes

Shannon Hayes


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